Panic? Who me?

It’s been 5 months since I quit my “day” job and became fully self-employed.  I have to admit something … I’m a planner and a worrier.  If I don’t have a solid plan of what will be going on for the next few months or year, I start to panic.  This was how I coped with raising 2 kids with challenges while working full time.  Everything had to be planned out, and if it wasn’t things could go horribly wrong really fast.  

Even though my bills are paid, I worry they won’t get paid in the future.  If I don’t immediately stop myself from worrying, my mind can build it into a big “oh my gosh, what am I going to do, the world will end” scenario.  Ugh. 

Late spring and early summer are always my slowest sales months because all my customers are doing summer things and enjoying the outdoors.  I know it and I get it.  The rational side of me knows that this happens every year and things will pick up.  Then the worrier side of me kicks in, and I panic about what if sales don’t pick up… blah blah blah.  Add that to some family changes that happened recently, and I totally panicked.  That’s why I wrote my last post about selling my business.  Yes, if the right offer comes up, I will sell it to the right person.  However, I love this business and want to keep doing it as long as I can as long as I can keep making ends meet and taking care of my family’s needs (and not losing my mind in the process). 

I guess I just had a moment of longing for days when I had less worries and a paycheck with benefits to count on and no business management responsibilities.  Stress is a difficult thing to deal with, especially when you’re on your own.  Sure I have friends, but that’s not the same thing as a second paycheck coming in.  I’m better now though.  I’m working on relaxing and enjoying the ride rather than trying to control everything.  Boy is that hard to do!

I’ll go back to filling orders and painting eyes now.  This afternoon I’m going to enjoy the sunshine and work in my garden.  Ohmmmmm… and relax!